There’s a 90210 Musical, and I Was There For Every 90s Minute of It

Next level nostalgia complete with an original cast cameo.

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BACK TO WEST BEV HIGH (SORT OF): A few weeks ago, I got together with my Chicago crew of fellow 90s kids (this town loves a good throwback) to (sort of) relive arguably one of the best parts of that entire decade with a twist, as we took in the not-quite-Tony nominated show, 90210! The Musical. Yup, this is a real thing.

Originally staged in NYC’s East Village last year, the silly satire set to original tunes was created and written by Bob and Tobly McSmith, the same team behind other nostalgia-inducing, hilarious musical send-ups of such classics as Full House, Saved by the Bell and Showgirls. The show made its way to the Midwest as part of the Broadway in Chicago series, and it was as gloriously goofy as you would imagine.

9021-0H NO THEY DIDN’T: To give you a taste of the over-the-top action, the show is primarily set in the halls of West Beverly Hills High, expanding to the Peach Pit and beyond as we follow the gang as they traverse a brilliantly condensed, ultra melodramatic Cliffs Notes version of their greatest teen angst hits. Drunken prom drama and vanishing virginity with the turn of a hotel room key? Check. Accidental shooting death? Check. Jailed daddy issues? Check. Underhanded love triangles? Check. Good boy goes off the rails with a little drug experimentation (U4EA in full effect)? Check, check, check.

The way the creators turned their heightened lens (grinder?) on the cast of characters matched the punch of the plotlines at every turn. Here, Donna Martin is referred to only as Tori Spelling, and mainly communicates through a series of gurgling sounds and slurred broken words; Andrea Zuckerman—who has an entire number about being poor—and Steve are played by the same deep voiced, hulking actor with the flip of a wig; twin siblings Brandon and Brenda are given a funny/disturbing level of not-so-subtextual sexual tension, with the actress who plays good girl-but-secret-b*tch, Bren, also taking on the role of badass transfer with a drug and pyromania problem, Emily Valentine. Oh, and Jim and Cindy are swingers embodied as (sometimes naked) puppets. So, yeah, it was alllll there.

AND YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WAS THERE?: I caught a glimpse of her outside the theatre before the show, but at intermission, it was official: Emily MF Valentine herself, actress Christine Elise, had made a Chicago cameo! All hail black leather boots and burning homecoming floats, one of my favorite TV teen drama bad girls was in the house. Pictures were taken, natch (see below), and Christine took the stage to greet the crowd in full-on, foul-mouthed Emily mode. This all made for a solid Wednesday night, ya’ll.

THE SHOW MAY BE GONE, BUT THE CREATORS WILL BE THERE FOR YOU: While 90210! The Musical’s run is over (for now), the duo behind it is in the process of developing their next spoof-tastic creation: a musical version of that other 90s staple, Friends, which will debut in NYC later this year. I already can’t wait for the soaring ballads about Ugly Naked Guy and Fat Monica. Someone needs see if Smelly Cat is available to make a cameo, stat.