6 of My Secret Feelings About This Year’s Oscars, Exposed

Serving up some serious hot takes heading into the big night.

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There’s been a lot to say about this year’s Oscars since the nominations announcement caused a stir (generous understatement!) a few weeks back. But the show is almost upon us, bringing with it the end to one of the bumpiest (and shortest) award season rides in recent memory. To commemorate the chaos with some well-earned criticism, I’m throwing down six edgy hot takes on where I think things are and where they’re (hopefully) going to end up after the envelopes have been unsealed. Proceed with caution.

Marriage Story is overrated and shouldn’t win anything.

It was a weak year for movies, but even with that lower bar, I’m still wondering how this coulda-been-on-HBO, Woody Allen imitation made such a splash with the Academy. Knowing that writer-director Noah Baumbach rummaged through his own seemingly bottomless personal marital baggage to create the life-imitates-art-imitates-life film, I’m sure many saw it as ‘capital B’ brave filmmaking. But with that in mind, the way he had his female protagonist fall apart and lose her sh*t at regular intervals all while the big brilliant artist/’poor me’ husband simply can’t understand how she could feel this way after years of his ongoing contributions to their demise just straight-up annoyed me. Sure, he shines a starkly unflattering light on himself—bumbling cluelessness and all—and I can appreciate that. But it all just felt too self-aware and over-written for me to really connect. Besides, wasn’t this kind of story better the first time around when it was called Kramer vs. Kramer?

On a related note: Laura Dern in Marriage Story < ScarJo in Jojo Rabbit.

Hollywood has been serving peak awards season irony this year, and this head-to-head between two Marriage Story co-stars nominated for Best Supporting Actress for different films—with the wrong one continuing to win for an inferior movie—is right in-line with that vibe. Dern is a pretty sure thing, and she was good. But was she that indelible in the role that she’s the only actress out there right now who could play it? Rhetorical, but let’s say it anyway: Nope. So, in my Oscar shocker-that-ain’t-gonna-happen daydreams, ScarJo—who was that indelible in a role that was both unexpected and tailor-made for her—gets to take a walk to the podium for the first time. She has two nominations, for gawd sake. Doesn’t that warrant one very deserving win? I’m prepared for her to get Julianne Moore’d, 2003-style, but hoping she rallies like 2001 Marcia Gay Harden.

Once Upon a Time… was great. Parasite was better.

Immaculate. Original. Stunning. Thrilling. Funny. Devastating. Mind-bending.

There’s only one movie this year that is all of those things and more, and it’s Parasite.

Once Upon a Time… is fantastic; the ending, especially, haunted me after lots of laughs and gasps. It had gravitas and scope, but nothing like what Bong Joon Ho achieved with his film, which would be beyond deserving of it’s history-making win.

Full stop.

(Side note: This scenario could possibly also open the door to the Academy handing a long-overdue Oscar to Pedro Almodovar for Best International Feature Film for his personal, beautiful and brave movie, Pain and Glory, which would be an awesome double-whammy I’d totally be down with.)

1917 was the most surprisingly good movie I saw last year.

A cool and moving film that was a real technical achievement, I didn’t expect to dig a war movie so much, but 1917 got me there. I liked the way it started by dropping you into a moment, literally catapulting the audience through two hours until it hit the credits while taking a bunch of well-executed risks along the way. It’s running about third on my final Best Picture list, and if enough Academy members feel the same, watch out: that preferential ballot could make for an interesting end to the evening.

Love me some Brad, but Sir Anthony was remarkable.

The performances from these former Meet Joe Black co-stars couldn’t be more different, and I get that this year Hollywood has leaned towards applauding masterful displays of raw star charisma-meets-actor’s actor appeal, and I’m mostly fine with it. (See above re: Laura Dern, amiright?) I will be thrilled for Brad to finally get his thespian due (he already has a hunk of gold for producing 12 Years a Slave). But I still can’t get Anthony Hopkins’ portrayal of Pope Benedict XVI out of my head, though. He simply transformed, making a mythic figure of a man flesh-and-blood—a characterization full of both humor and sharp reaction; deeply reflective emotion and self-protecting defenses; sweetness and subtlety. He made me think, laugh, cry and care.  That’s what Oscar-winning performances should be made of.

Renée, Renée, Renée… but Charlize really stunned me.

Don’t get it twisted: Renée is everything—and as icon Judy, all the things at once—and she will rightfully win her second Oscar. Really, though, it should be her third, as she was robbed by Nicole Kidman’s fake nose for Best Actress in 2003 for Chicago, but I suppose that’s all a matter of opinion. (I stand by it; don’t @ me.) So, the irony (yup, there’s more!) isn’t lost on me that prosthetics are once again hot on Ms. Zellweger’s heels, this time in the form of Charlize Theron’s entire face as she totally vanishes to become Meghan Kelly in Bombshell. It’s a spectacular performance that’s so on-point it’s almost surreal, and in any other year it would be my hands-down pick to win. But Renée took me over the rainbow, and that’s worth its weight in Oscar gold. Let’s hope, in the end, the Academy feels the same.

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